Loss of Your Baby

You have lost your baby or thinking about abortion. You may be felling overwhelmed, helpless, or numb. You may be thinking:
why me?
Why did it happen?
What did I do to cause it?
It’s not fair!
You may feel frustration, anger and bitterness. You may have physical as well as emotional pain. Some of the emotional pain may be always be with you, as well the memories of your baby.

Having Another Baby
After losing a baby, there is a strong desire to become pregnant again. Your partner may try to ease your grief by pressuing you to have another baby right away. A new baby will not replace the baby you lost. Doctors usually recommend waiting at least 6-18 months between pregnancies. This gives your body time to recover fully and be ready to have another baby. Ask your health care provider since he or she knows you best. In the meantime, use a reliable method of birth-control, get plenty of rest and eat well.

Grief Process
You will go through a grieving process because a part of yourself, as well as your baby has been lost. There will be many emotional ups and downs. It is necessary to grieve so you can move on to feeling better. these are feelings you may experience at different times.

Shock and Denial: This can’t be happening to me. You may have trouble believing you lost your baby.
Anger: Why me?You may be angry with the doctor, your family, your partner, or everyone. You may resent other people who have a baby.
Sadness and Depression: What’s the use? It’s not fair that my baby died. My dreams are gone. Life is meaningless. If you are severely depressed and are having suicidal thoughts, it is important to tell your medical providers.
Acceptance: I can go on. I can’t change it, I will accept it. You may start to have energy. You can have a good time without feeling guilty.

Ways to Remember Your Baby:
* Start a memory box, and put into it any of the baby’s belongings, such as a rattle, blanket, or ultrasound picture. Include items from the hospital such as photos, a lock of hair, or footprints.
* Plant a rose-puch or tree in memory of the baby.
* Have a plaque engraved with the baby’s name and birth date.
* Buy a porcelain or ceramic angel in memory of your baby.
* Order a charm with the baby’s birth date to wear on a chain.
*Recognize the anniversary of your loss with a special yearly ceremony.

Ways to Help Yourself
*Be Gentle and kind to yourself
*Consider counseling or a support group.
*Talk to a friend who cares about you.
*Remember that crying and sadness are part of losing someone you love.
*Don’t make any big decisions right now because its okay to wait a while.
*Focus in getting through one day at a time.
*Talk to your health care provider, pastor, priest, rabbi, or spiritual adviser about your loss